Saturday, July 21, 2012

rich people's ATMs

Remember the good old days when you could just walk up to an ATM and make it puke out 100 rupees? Yaaaaaaaa. Well, that doesn't happen anymore. Either you beg your ATM to give you a minimum of 500 rupees or you stay broke.

100 rupees? What? Are you kidding me? 100 rupees is a coin. And we all know ATMs don't puke out coins.

Monday, July 16, 2012

how to protect your genes on facebook


1. Befriend all your relatives on facebook

2. Relentlessly visit the profiles of all relatives younger and hotter than you
3. Relentlessly visit the profiles of all relatives younger and hotter than you
4. Relentlessly visit the profiles of all relatives younger and hotter than you
5. Relentlessly visit the profiles of all relatives younger and hotter than you
6. Relentlessly visit the profiles of all relatives younger and hotter than you
7. Relentlessly visit the profiles of all relatives younger and hotter than you
8. Relentlessly visit the profiles of all relatives younger and hotter than you
9. Relentlessly visit the profiles of all relatives younger and hotter than you

10. Spot a picture / status message that offends your sensibilities

11. CALL UP THEIR PARENTS RIGHT AWAY

12. Breathe easy

13. You have won the gene pool race :)

Friday, July 13, 2012

Kenneth

Kenneth started off as a teacher at young Anand's boarding school.

Kenneth then got promoted. He was in charge of taking care of the gym, the washroom and giving the class group beatings. 

Kenneth's most important job was to be the giver of group beatings. If the class was noisy as a group, Kenneth would be especially called in with a cane. He would rap each child on the knuckles.

No other staff member was allowed to give group beatings.


Kenneth was an avid Christian.

Kenneth fell in love.

Kenneth fell in love with a Buddhist girl.

Kenneth converted to Buddhism. 

Anand suddenly remembered Kenneth 2 days back.

Where is Kenneth now?

Is Kenneth on Facebook?

Do you want to be friends with Kenneth? 

Kenneth may be a person you may know.
.



Monday, July 09, 2012

inheritance

When my hair falls in my face and I use my fingers to brush it back ... the way my hands move, is exactly like my grandmother's. 

Saturday, July 07, 2012

butter chicken


Friend: "You should turn Oof Ya! into chicken."

Me: "Whaaaat? Chicken?"

Friend: "Not chicken! Chick lit! Your ears have wax! ... But it's ok, given that you are half Punjabi I am sure you could turn it into chicken as well."

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

dhaynchoo again

Ever since I blogged about dhaynchoo and achoo and Pikachu,  I have been thinking about much deeper, related things. I must share these thoughts with you.

1. When she was 6, my sister used to  frequently catch colds. She would sneeze loudly --- ACHOO--- and follow it up by saying "oomber". Achoooomber. Like cucumber. The sneeze version of a vegetable.

2. In my very first job the supervisor was called Achu. True story. And people would go stand next to his chair when they had colds and sneeze loudly --- ACHOO --- and then he would turn around and go "Yes?". And they would say "Oh no, that was not for you, I just have a cold."