Tuesday, March 29, 2011

happy (belated) women's day

I want to thank her for writing this.

Monday, March 28, 2011

fear street saga

Dear Fans and Avid Readers!

Today, I have decided to come out and confess (some) of my biggest fears. I am pleased to announce that I am a chronic worrier and I worry with a scary determination about:

1. Health insurance
2. The cost of higher education
3. Taking loans and then being unable to pay them back
4. Having to get married
5. Getting married and then having the love run out 
6. Dying alone
7. My mother
8. Turning into my mother
9. Turning into my father
10. The fact that number 9 may have already happened
11. Loosing my eyesight

Yes, my worries are typical. I am now pleased to announce that I have been co-opted by the Establishment. Thank you for reading.






Saturday, March 26, 2011

this soap is blue

There is an egg in the basket. So why don't you hatch it?
3 yellow butterflies flew up the drainpipe.
What do you get when you mix a fire engine with a donkey? 
There is a small cupboard inside the refrigerator. 
When the rabbit ate the apple pie, it started to rain.
If you open the trunk, you will find a toothpick inside. 
Does your room look better with purple curtains or a green dustbin?
Take the bus and then the onions. 
Only a magnet can save you now. 



Thursday, March 24, 2011

yo estaba durmiendo tranquilamente cuando...

Yo estaba durmiendo tranquilamente cuando el perro en la casa de mi vecina empezó a ladrar. Me desperté por el ruido pero no me levanté. Yo lo esperé callarse pero él sigió ladrando. Ya no pude dormir más. Yo estuve enfadada. Me levanté de la cama y fui al teléfono. Yo llamé a mi vecina y yo le pedí hacer callar a su perro. Mi vecina me dijo que ella estaba enseñando a su perro cantar. El día siguiente cuando yo estaba saliendo de la casa yo ví que el perro estaba durmiendo tranquilamente en el jardín. Yo tire un cubo de agua fría sobre el perro y corré.


There are some languages that you just can't understand. For a really bad translation of everything else, go to Google Translator.

Monday, March 21, 2011

business development solutions

About us

We provide business development solutions to set up communications channels to meet market needs in an integrated economy. We provide networking, consultancy and analysis tools for the growing economy. We set up strategic alliances and check quality of modern tools in a fast-paced environment. We innovate through expansion of top level services. We engage with resources at a knowledge outpost station. We stand for managerial deliverables in opening markets. We build on partnerships for reaching out to product-based services. We believe in growth, quality, financial control and solutions.

Friday, March 18, 2011

group yelling

FAQ's

Q. What is group yelling?
 
A. The class does something classified as "disobedient" from the powers that be and everyone gets taken to the principal's office to get collectively yelled at.

Q. What are the benefits of group yelling?

A. The experience of group yelling is best described as the fun cousin of an individual yelling. In an individual yelling, you get humiliated in front of everyone. In a group yelling session, you all will miss out on study time and also, you can make fun of the teacher once he / she leaves.  Verdict : Totally worth it.

Friday, March 04, 2011

documentitis

Please enclose the following with your application form:

  • 3 Passport size photos 
  • Statement of intent  
  • CV 
  • Copies of high school transcripts 
  • Copies of University transcripts 
  • Attested copies of certificates for extra-curricular activities / awards won 
  • Certified copy of passport 
  • Proof of residence (phone bill / electricity bill/ voter ID card) 
  • Certified copy of PAN card 
  • Proof of income (latest income tax return statement)
  • Verified copy of TOEFL / IELTS / GRE / GMAT scores 
  • Employment certificates stating last salary drawn 
  • Medical certificate 
  • Three letters of reference 
  • Certified copy of PAN card of each referee 
  • 3 passport size photos of guardian 
  • Proof of residence of guardian (phone bill / electricity bill / voter ID card) 
  • Certified copy of PAN card of guardian 
  • Income statement of guardian 
  • Certified copy of passport of guardian 
  • Certified copy of birth certificates of nieghbours (no less than 5 individuals) 
  • Certified copies of PAN cards of cousins (Applicants who include copies of PAN cards of 7th and 8th cousins will be preferred) 
  • Birth certificate of any pets (dogs / cats / mice etc) 
  • 3 passport size photos of each pet

Applicants MUST attach all the above mentioned along with the application form. All items must be arranged in the order specified. Failure to furnish even one of the above items will render the application incomplete and you will be immediately disqualified from the selection process. Please do not forget to make 3 photostat copies of your application form (along with each of the above mentioned enclosures) and attach it with your main application.


Wednesday, March 02, 2011

"Can I teach you how to send smiley faces in your text messages? ... Don't you want to be cool?"

-- My mother, to my father

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

"Is that tie-and-dye ?"

-- My sister, pointing at a monotone purple coloured cloth