Thursday, February 27, 2014


What happens on the day when you finish all your prescribed cycles of chemotherapy and you are still alive?

Does it mean you have been cured?

I wish it was that simple.

Sometimes, cancers return. 

How do you know if the chemotherapy has worked?

It has worked if you are cancer free for x number of years.

X = number of years as declared by your doctor. This number seems to vary with cancer type as far as I can tell.

So we've been told 5 years from today.

In popular cancer language, this waiting game is called - "Remission".

Sounds like a video game, right?


And so while you are wondering about that, let me leave you with an incredibly courageous and wonderfully well compiled set of gifs on what a typical chemotherapy day looks like.

Go on, paste this link into your browser's address bar. No pain. No gain.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

the monk who had cancer

Last week at the chemotherapy day care centre, there was a monk who had come in for treatment.

You can retreat from this material world, you can give up breathing its toxins.

You can live a stress free lifestyle, you can meditate.

You can pray.

But still.


Makes you realise the true extent of the random nature of this universe. Makes you realise that even if you control your mind, even if you control your emotions, there is very little else that you can control.

And sometimes, a life of prayer can control nothing at all. 

Sunday, February 09, 2014

space craft

Between the dialysis and the chemotherapy is a surreal space where I work hard, plan ahead, think positive and pretend to control the future.