Saturday, June 25, 2011

in my shoes - a step by step guide to my life

Fans and Avid Readers!

If you were in my shoes, this is what your life would be like:

Step 1 - Only own 2 pairs of footwear:

Part 1 - Floaters
Part 2 - Chappals

Step 2 - Get a job where one of the terms and conditions of employment is that you must NOT come to work wearing floaters or chappals

Step 3 - Panic

Step 4 - Put on your floaters and run to the markets and buy as many formal shoes as possible (in your world this means you buy a grand sum total of 2 (TWO) more pairs. Given the complexity of your human mind, you translate "formal shoes" to mean "jootis" )

Step 5 - Realise that you are simply not talented enough to use the bus and the metro wearing your formal shoes to work.

Step 6 - Panic

Step 7 - Pack your formal shoes (i.e. jootis) in your bag and leave for work in the morning wearing your floaters. You need to leave 6 minutes earlier than you ordinarily would because of 

Step 8 - Reach work early, dash into the toilet, remove your floaters, unpack your formal shoes, wear your formal shoes, pack up the floaters, stuff the packet into your bag.

Step 9 - Because you have no other time in the day to exercise you use your lunch break to go for a healthy walk in the scorching sun. Rush to the toilet, remove the formal shoes, unpack the floaters, wear the floaters, pack the formal shoes, stuff the packet into your bag.


Step 10 - Step 9576343 -  Go for a walk

Step 9576344 - Return to the office building

Step 9576345 - Go to your seat and take your bag to the toilet


Step 9576346 - Remove your floaters, unpack the formal shoes, wear the formal shoes, pack the floaters, stuff the packet into your bag

Step 9576347 - Work is over so now you grab your bag, rush to the toilet, remove your formal shoes, unpack your floaters, wear the floaters, pack the formal shoes, stuff the packet into your bag

Step 9576348 - Elvis has left the building

Step 9576349 - Reach home, remove your floaters, go to the toilet and wash your feet

Step 9576350 - Wear your chappals

 

Thursday, June 23, 2011

reader discretion advised

"I have grown one inch in the last three months. Until I was eighteen I hadn't grown at all."

-- Random 22 year old boy who I met at work

Thursday, June 16, 2011

the price of sunlight

75,000 rupees per month

- As revealed by my family's search for housing in South Delhi, where my parents work. So, we have chosen to live in a house without windows.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Fans, Avid Readers, Friends, Fish, and Bengali Cats -

Today I asked my Spanish teacher for twenty-three extra minutes so that I could finish the Spanish exam.

Sunday, June 05, 2011

bengali cats

Me - The cats in Chittranjan Park are very unfriendly and unusually suspicious of human beings.
Anand - Perhaps it is becuase they are competing with the humans for the fish.