My flatmate, the Costume Designer, is in love with a boy who bought her a plastic phone cover with little pink and green cats drawn all over it. She loves the boy but hates the phone cover. She bought herself a sleek metallic white phone cover. She loves the sleek metallic white phone cover but she knows that the boy will hate her for using it. Every time she goes out to meet this boy she frantically changes phone covers so that her phone is ALWAYS wearing the pink and green cats on the days that she meets him. Her phone has two clothes. One for date night. One for every other night. I said - "What's the point of all this?" She said - "He will fight with me if he sees me using this white metallic phone cover." I said - "Why will he fight with you?" She said - "He will not believe that I bought myself a phone cover. He will think it is a gift from another boy." One day, in her enthusiasm to meet the boy who controls phone covers, she ran out of the house and FORGOT to give her phone the right clothes. They fought that day. She came home and they fought that night. Then at 2.30 AM she decided that she would drive all the way to Kancheepuram to meet him face to face and resolve the fight. So she got out of the house and drove her car. All the way from Chennai to Kancheepuram at 2.30AM. She made sure her phone sat in the passenger seat, wearing the pink and green knitted cats rather than the slinky white ballgown. They met. They kissed. Because the boy who controls your phone covers is the one who deserves to be loved.
As Anand rightly pointed out, Sebastian, the 2 year old child who stays in my house, is much like a kitten. Let me tell you why. Sebastian purrs outside my bedroom door and scratches on it, wanting to be let in. If I don't answer, he pushes open the door anyway and peeps in with his tiny head. Then he kicks the door open and races in. If I have locked the door from inside then he scratches and cries until I let him in. When he is in my bedroom, I have no idea what is going to end up where. If I want him to leave, I have to scoop him up and he makes small kitten whiny noises and kicks around wildly. Because Sebastian is a human child and not a kitten, he thankfully doesn't have sharp claws.
Sebastian is a 2 year old child who often comes to stay in my house. Sebastian doesn's speak yet but he knows how to swipe and change pictures on a smartphone. The whole world, according to Sebastian, is an edible object. Thus every item that ever enters his line of vision immediately meets his mouth. Of course, as we all know, the whole world is NOT edible. Most items are not. This is always a surprising discovery for Sebastian. Every time his mouth meets a non-edible object, he clutches it with his tiny hands and throws it with all his might. Sebastian is small but his hands are strong. Every thing that he throws lands a million miles away from its original position. Two year olds can be so volcanic. I wonder what are the scientific applications of this?
My Costume Designer flatmate is in a middle of a fight with her boyfriend. As a revenge tactic, she thinks going out on a date with someone new is befitting. She was getting ready and I was watching her, because my life really is that exciting. She - "Do you think I should tell my boyfriend that I am going out with someone new?"
Me - " Why do you think you need to tell him?"
She - "To make him jealous."
Me- "I see."
She - "Actually, no. I'm not going to tell him. He doesn't deserve to know because I don't think he is going to be GENUINELY jealous"