Saturday, November 21, 2009

i feel old

Fans and Avid Readers!!!!!
I would like to share with you all the accomplishments that I have attained since I blogged last.
  • I have paid taxes
  • I lived a brief retired life
  • I changed jobs
  • I have had regular appointments with the physiotherapist and the orthopedist
  • I have spent obscenely large sums of money on medical expenses
  • I have a knee injury
  • I briefly considered surgery
  • A friend who visited me gifted me a walking stick
  • I am in danger of loosing my present job and face impending retirement all over again

And this is what I truly want.

I WANT TO BE YOUNG AND FUN AND 23!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you?

Saturday, August 01, 2009

careers in tv news - ticker desk

Disclaimer: The ticker is the stream of text that runs at the bottom of the tv screen and repeats itself ad nauseum.
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When they recruit you, you are told that this is the most important desk in the organisation. Every single day thereafter, you are told that the ONLY thing viewers are interested in reading is the ticker.

You spend your time trying to fit the latest news into a space of 20 characters - this includes spaces. You must do this faster than your counterparts working at other news channels. This is regardless of the fact that viewers watch only one channel at a time and will never really know which channel gave has the latest news on air zero point ten seconds before the other. In no circumstance, however, must you ever point out the logic of this fact to your boss.

You spend all nine hours of your shift glued to your seat. You cannot eat, drink, breathe or take a break. If you do, you might miss the breaking news.
(You have probably typed the words 'BREAKING NEWS' more times than you have ever written your name. .... or even your lover's name. )

The one day that you took a break to pee, your boss yelled at you when you returned. You had to say, " I am sorry that I went to pee." And she said - "That is not the point. You missed the breaking news."
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Disclaimer #2: You also have to press a button called "Fire Ticker". If you forget to press this button, the ticker doesn't run. You are the ultimate mover and shaker of all things newsworthy. Ad nauseum.

Monday, July 13, 2009

how to generate unprecedented traffic on your blog

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Friday, May 01, 2009

the man with the special chair

He is the only man in my whole office who has a different chair. And he's not even the BOSS.

Everyone else sits on these black and red or black and purple chairs. Cloth covered. Boring boring. But he's special. His chair is fully black. Leather. Oooooh. And he's very possessive about it.

When I was new I once sat on his chair by accident. It's not like I thought, 'Let's sit on the special chair.' It was just that was the closest empty chair to me. So I sat. And then I worked. And then I felt a tap on my shoulder.

'Excuse me,' he said.

'Yes?' I said.

'Will you exchange chairs with me?' he said.

He had found a black and purple cloth chair especailly for me and had wheeled it around the acres of our office, right upto my desk. Glee. How could I refuse?

Another day, another time. Me still new at office. Same old absentminded me, dragged his chair, sat on it.

Tap tap, on my shoulder.

'Excuse me' he said.

'What' I said

'You're sitting on my chair' he said.

2 nights ago in office I was sitting on his chair. He wasn't there. And I realised I was sitting on his chair and I said to my 2 of my colleagues... 'Ooops I'm sitting on his chair , and he's damn possesive about it'.

And they said 'Yes'

And I thought: !!!!!!!!!!!!

And we traded stories. Same stories, same experiences, same chair. And same man. But why?
Who is this man? What does he do? He only comes into office occasionally. He only sits on that special chair. And nobody is really sure what is it exactly that he does.

He's the man with the special chair. We know and love the chair more than we know or love him. What must it feel like to have your chair overtake you in fame and personality?