Wednesday, October 20, 2010

how to have an active facebook social life

Fans and avid readers!!!!!

It is time I shared with you the top 5 ways to achieve success in facebooking. These are my observations of some of the most successful users of our times. REAL TIPS!!! REAL SUCCESS!!! READ NOW!!!!


1. Whenever someone posts a close-up shot of themselves as a profile picture ALWAYS comment and say ''So pretty!" "You look so handsome!" "You're hot" (or, more appropriately, just plain old "hawt!!!!")

2. Whenever someone posts a couple photo, invariably, comment "awwwwwwww" / "so cute" / "i love this pic"

3. If someone announces that they are married or engaged, you must immediately say "Congrats, have a happy life ahead" (This is compulsory, even if you barely know them and don't particularly care about their happiness. Infact, ESPECIALLY if you barely know them and do not particularly care about their happiness)


4. Post numerous photos yourself. When in doubt, always take close-up shots of the food you are eating / about to eat.

5. ALWAYS wish others on their birthday. (They might not have invited you to their party but ofcourse, you just HAVE wish them)






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Alright!!!! You know what do do!!!! But ofcourse, you ask, what are the fruits of religiously following these steps?

Well the result, dear fans and avid readers is that you will get atleast 20-100 notifications for every picture you comment on, making you feel instantaneously and deliriously popular. An added benefit about wishing random people on their birthdays/engagements/marriages are that they will say '' Hi long time, how are you? What are you up to?" And then you can say, "I am in Switzerland / Russia / Japan these days." (The trhill of this is unbeaten. Promise)  

Saturday, October 16, 2010

"I love Chinese soups. They taste so yummy because they taste so fake."

-- My sister

Sunday, October 03, 2010