Tuesday, January 31, 2012

mumbai

I forgot my keys.
Out of desperation, I bought an economics magazine worth 200 rupees.
I met a boy who lives in a building named Pink Apartment.
I helped a grown man select a suit.
I ate a chocolate flavoured sweet dish that reminded me of the 90's. 

I saw the place where coins are minted.
I saw rats on the railway tracks. 

I cooked eggs with capsicum. And added garam masala to it.
This doesn't have the punchline you were looking for.  

Saturday, January 28, 2012

sense and sensibility

Google AdSense rejected my application. Twice. Reason: 
"Unacceptable site content - Your website must contain substantial, original content."


So confusing this brave new world of internet freedom is. 

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Salman Rushdie at the Jaipur Lit Fest

Fans and Avid Readers!!!!!!

No, this post is NOT about Salman Rushdie and his presence or lack thereof at the Jaipur Lit Fest. If you came here hoping to read my esteemed views on this subject based on the informative title of my post then all I can say to you is  - Don't believe everything you read on the internet. 

Now I am going to tell you the reason why I cannot bear to attend the Jaipur Lit Fest.

It will be too crowded with people both you and I may know. Too many common friends at a celebrity event = too much fake air kissing = noise pollution.

That's it.

 



Friday, January 20, 2012

responsibility

1. A person you love dies
2. A person you love goes into coma
3. You don't have the time to recover because you realise that if anything else happens right now to anyone else you love, you just don't have the money to save their lives
4. So you just put on your best plastic face and air kiss the world



Thursday, January 19, 2012

Oprah in India

One of the first sights she chose to see was Baby B. See? So much culture, heritage, etc etc this country has to offer.  

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Monday, January 16, 2012

winter children

They are small, they are aged 0-4, they are snotty nosed, they squeak a lot, they wear woollen pants, they wear super fluffy woollen sweaters, they wear brightly coloured woollen caps and they all look like each other.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

how to survive the rules of engagement (pyaar ke side effects)

For those who are getting engaged:
#1. When you are engaged, announce it on Facebook. (Obviously, this rule is for the dummies. If you already knew this, congrats, you are advanced.)

Side effects of forgetting to follow the rule: No one will know you are engaged.

For those who know those who are getting engaged:
#1. Read about your friend's engagement on Facebook
#2. Check how many friends your engaged friend has on their friend list
#3. Check how many of the friends from your engaged friend's list have already commented/congratulated them on the changed relationship status
#4. If you are very cool and important then wait till atleast 97% of the people on your engaged buddy's list have congratulated him/her. THEN leave a comment. This will ensure that notifications you receive over the next 24-48 hours are reduced to a minimum . (This rule is for advanced users)
#4a. Special side effect rule #4a-  For dummies, I advise rule #4a. According to this rule, skip rules 2, 3 and 4 and CONGRATULATE YOUR FRIEND RIGHT NOW DON'T WAIT DON'T STOP OMG!!!!!!!! This will ensure that you will keep getting notifications for atleast the next 24 if not 48 or 72 hours whenever random other people from your engaged friend's list also congratulate them. 

Thursday, January 12, 2012

what to tell your readers when you haven't written in your blog in a long time



Sorry guys, I was holidaying in Goa, partying like crazy for the New Year!!!!!! It was so awesome!!!!! The drinks!!!!! The clubs!!!!!! The beaches!!!! The cool firang friends!!!!!!! I was so busy!!!!!!!!!!!! No time to blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So cool!!!!!!!!!! 


Monday, January 02, 2012

escapist fantasies

And on other days (like today) -  I think that if I escape from my life the depression will stop.