Thursday, April 28, 2011

BEWARE. YOU ARE BEING STALKED.

Friends and Avid Readers,

I feel it is my duty as the author of this blog to inform you that I have developed a creepy new habit of checking blog stats every single day. Beware. I know when you are loitering. I know when you are awake. And I am the real Santa Claus, I am not a fake.

Monday, April 18, 2011

a lesson in evolution

FRAANDSHIP: 

You and I are friends. We meet for dinner. Maybe it means something else. The end. 

FRIENDITITS:

You and I are friends.
We meet for dinner.
I carry my camera in my bag.
We take photographs of the food.
We take photographs of each other.
We smile.
We take photographs of the drinks.
We kiss.
We take photographs of the kiss.
We put the pictures up on facebook.
I comment on the pictures.
You comment on the pictures.
My friends comment on the pictures.
Your friends comment on the pictures.
I get 52 facebook notifications.
You get 52 facebook notifications.
Each of my friends get 52 facebook notifications
Each of your friends gets 52 facebook notifications.
I blog about it.
I put up a link on facebook. 
You read my blog.
You send the link to all your friends.
They read my blog.
Their friends read my blog.
Some strangers read my blog.
I meet a stranger at a party.
The stranger tells me she knows who I kissed last summer.
I smile.
We take a picture.
I blog about it.
You read about it.
You realise that I have discovered a new disease.
You warn your friends.
We organise a facebook event.
We take photographs of each other at the facebook event.
We pray to our our cameras to fight this menace.
We build a temple for our cameras.

We take photographs of the temple.
We put up the pictures on facebook.
We make a facebook page.
9,876,543,320 people like us.


(Maybe the end is finally here.)


But what if we meet again for dinner and take another photograph and put it up on facebook?










Thursday, April 14, 2011

job interview: what NOT to say



- Do NOT say you were uninspired at your last job. Instead, talk about how you got to interact with all these really cool pieces of furniture people
- Do NOT say you you are presently unemployed. Instead, say you work freelance.
- Do NOT describe your hobbies in detail. Instead, tell them how you are constantly thinking up new and interesting ways that can contribute to their business. 

Good luck. May you get the job of your dreams.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

"I don't want to be a sari DJ. "
-- My sister

(Prize for figuring out what the hell she could have been talking about.)

Monday, April 04, 2011

leftover cricket jokes

The Cricket World Cup 2011 is over. So fans and avid readers, if you are still meeting jokes about it during your internet outings - BEWARE! These are leftover cricket jokes. 

And now, that being said, may I encourage you all to go and check out this masterpiece