Thursday, June 22, 2006

saas-bahu

I am going to call him Mr.X.

He lives in my nieghbourhood with his wife. This couple had 2 or 3 children - i seem to forget the number. All their children were male.

Mr.X and his wife prefer to hire domestic help to do cooking/cleaning/washing etc.

Every time a maid is hired in their house, Mr.X rapes her. She then leaves. A new maid is hired. Mr.X rapes her. The cycle repeats itself.

When Mr.X's sons were old enough to get married, their mother insisted that they set up independent homes with their wives. None of Mr.X's children stay with him any longer.


His wife knew about his habit. Who knows, may be she has even beeen raped by him herself.

By insisting that her sons set up independent homes with their wives, Mr.X's wife has ensured that her daughters-in-law remain safe.

*****
There are so many stories about hostile relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. This is a true story that challenges the stereotype and this is why I thought I would share it with you.

7 comments:

flea said...

ok. she took care of her daughters in law. but the maids weren't good enough to save?

oof ya! said...

we cant judge her on that. if he raped the maids and she felt he was going to rape her daughters-in-law then it is entirely possible that he was raping HER as well. i know that constant sexual abuse is hard on a woman's rational mental processes. who knows what her reasons were?

flea said...

he raped the first maid. so the wife realises thats not so good. a second one is hired and she too gets raped. why does it take for her sons to marry for her to act?

i'm trying hard not to judge here. really i am. but couldn't she have, say, hired a man?

how does it become so good to save your daughters in law when you failed to save others, who are in more vulnerable positions. daughters in law can complain to their husbands. and the sons will judge their parents harshly. who can maids go to for support? and she has nothing to lose when he targets domestic help, but if he hits on the family- that reflects on her.

if she's poor rape andmove on- try to forget... but if she's been lucky enough to marry my son i must protect her from this monster?

doesn't work for me.

and currently i am very sensitive about how people treat their domestic help.

oof ya! said...

she's one of those women who are unfortunate to be married off by their parents to a man who doesn't beleive in women's economic control in marriage... so basically she doesn't have a say in who he chooses to hire as domestic help

flea said...

come on!
if you can unobtrusively make sure your daughters in law don't stay at home then you can unobtrisively make sure that women who work at home are warned off. and kind of suggest that a man be hired- for lifitng heavy things and such like... does he supervise everything? is he in charge of the domestic aspects of everything? in general women are entrusted with hiring the labour.
do you know this for a fact? that he personally took charge of all aspects of running the house?
and even if he did- did she never speak to any of the maids ever? no exchange of anything when the husbands not in the room?

flea said...

she doesnt need economic control to talk to the domestic help.

oof ya! said...

while i understand where you are coming from about the maid, i am quite interested on how the "comments" for this post turned out. both you and i have been talking about whether or not this lady could have stopped rapes.... SHE gets blamed for THE MAN'S actions. At the end of the day, it is not her who should be held responsible for her husband's actions. Mr. X is the rapist. HE is accountable for his crimes.