Wednesday, December 25, 2013

government aunties

They strictly travel as a pair or in a pack. Never does this type of species travel alone. There is no such thing as a government aunty. However, there is definitely such a thing as government aunties.

Government aunties are found on the Delhi Metro. Between the set of them, government aunties carry at least 4 plastic bags in addition to their individual handbags.

If government aunties happen to find a place to sit, it is against the order of their species to allow only one of their kind to sit. Either they must all squeeze in to the same space, regardless of how much is available, or they must all egg on one another to occupy the space and then scowl at the one non-government aunty person who finally dares to sit down after watching their politeness match.

If seated, government aunties like to eat their lunch or do their knitting.

Government aunties strictly wear salwar kameez. It is against the order of their species to wear any other type of clothing. If it is winter, government aunties strictly wear woolen monkey caps. The colour of the cap can be black, brown, maroon or on a particularly wild day, dark green. It is against the order of their species to wear any other coloured woolen monkey cap.

Government aunties always board or de-board the metro from Patel Chowk, Central Secretariat or Udyog Bhawan stations.

Government aunties talk about the sun. If it is summer, they discuss how not to sit under the sun. If it is winter they will talk about how to sit under the sun.

If it is raining then I suppose they run out of conversation. Or maybe the metro runs out of its supply of government aunties during the rains. Have you ever met a group of government aunties inside the metro during rainy weather? Neither have I.

Do you belong to a group of government aunties? Would you like to tell us more?


Meghnad Sahasrabhojanee said...

Ha ha! I have seen these creatures lurking about. This is all very true.

sp said...

can we take a metro trip and observe this phenomenon?
when i was going up and down from dwarka to n campus i shut down at patel nagar because the ride was too long to keep concentrating.

oof ya! said...

Meghnad - hahaha!!!! it's true it's true!!!! thank you for validating!!!! they really do exist :D

sp - we can try but i think you are visiting in the off season :p