paparazzi

Fans and Avid Readers!!!!!!!!

I wish to hereby inform you that I have been invited to a wedding :)

Nowdays, increasingly, I am invited to weddings of friends my own age... this is unlike my childhood where the people getting married would seem like aunties and uncles to me. The conclusion is that my friends and I are now AUNTYS AND UNCLES. YAAAAAAYYYY. (No, really.)


...... And now that you all have finished celebrating this piece of news, let's move right along to the REAL problem here.

I am a person who owns a very limited collection of shiny fancy wedding clothes. These, fans and avid readers, I regret to inform you, were very keenly documented by the facebook paparazzi at the last wedding I attended.

AND NOW.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

Can you see my problem here? Can you? Can you?

"It sounds like Himesh Reshamiya"

-- A boy in my Spanish class, after listening to a Spanish conversation CD.

"Omlette rhymes with Hamlet."

-- My father, at the dinning table

spanish junk

Yo soy oofya! En mi tiempo libre yo escucho la radio y veo peliculas en mi ordenador portatil. Me gusta caminar en el parque por la tarde. Cuando estoy caminando yo uso mi movil para hablar con mis amigos. A veces invito a mis amigos a mi casa y cocino para a ellos pero a ellos no se gusta la comida que yo cocino. A veces nosotros vamos a comer en los restaurantes. Nos encanta comer mucho. Tambien yo estudio espanol los fines de semana.

(Please feel free to correct my grammar. Muchas gracias. )

I think that I have nothing more to say to the world.

how to have an active facebook social life

Fans and avid readers!!!!!

It is time I shared with you the top 5 ways to achieve success in facebooking. These are my observations of some of the most successful users of our times. REAL TIPS!!! REAL SUCCESS!!! READ NOW!!!!


1. Whenever someone posts a close-up shot of themselves as a profile picture ALWAYS comment and say ''So pretty!" "You look so handsome!" "You're hot" (or, more appropriately, just plain old "hawt!!!!")

2. Whenever someone posts a couple photo, invariably, comment "awwwwwwww" / "so cute" / "i love this pic"

3. If someone announces that they are married or engaged, you must immediately say "Congrats, have a happy life ahead" (This is compulsory, even if you barely know them and don't particularly care about their happiness. Infact, ESPECIALLY if you barely know them and do not particularly care about their happiness)

4. Post numerous photos yourself. When in doubt, always take close-up shots of the food you are eating / about to eat.

5. ALWAYS wish others on their birthday. (They might not have invited you to their party but ofcourse, you just HAVE wish them)






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Alright!!!! You know what do do!!!! But ofcourse, you ask, what are the fruits of religiously following these steps?

Well the result, dear fans and avid readers is that you will get atleast 20-100 notifications for every picture you comment on, making you feel instantaneously and deliriously popular. An added benefit about wishing random people on their birthdays/engagements/marriages are that they will say '' Hi long time, how are you? What are you up to?" And then you can say, "I am in Switzerland / Russia / Japan these days." (The trhill of this is unbeaten. Promise)  

"I love Chinese soups. They taste so yummy because they taste so fake."

-- My sister