I swore that when I returned to this blog, my first post would be about her. So here it is.
I met her 3 years back. We became friends. Yes, it is true, her parents actually have named her that. Delhi Rose. As per all official documents.
When the time came for us to part, words failed me. People like her should be preserved. I mean, come on, how often do we run into human beings called "Delhi Rose"? And I might never get to see her again.
Hmmmmmmm. Sigh. Delhi Rose, I will miss you.
She left me her email address. Should I email her? I don't know. We shared the kind of relationship where if we met face to face, we were friends. A couple of smses here and there. But we were never phone friends. And we never hung out together on weekends for fun. Trouble is, I don't know what to say to her when she is not in front of me.
I love Delhi Rose. One of Earth's gems. Very sweet and extremely helpful. Many people don't know this about her, but she also has an amazing, loony sense of humor. I'm glad she shared it with me :-)
We also, made up a special hand-sign, just the two of us. I will remeber it always. Roughly, it looks like this
/\
V
I really hope our paths cross again.
Delhi Rose - I never told you about this blog. But I know that if you are reading, this, you will know who I am. Especially, since I put up our sign :D
Friday, May 18, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Saturday, December 23, 2006
subversion and the politics of power
If Men Could Menstruate
-- Gloria Steinem
A white minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into thinking that a white skin makes people superior - even though the only thing it really does is make the more subject to ultraviolet rays and to wrinkles. Male human beings have built whole cultures around the idea that penis envy is "natural" to women - though having such an unprotected organ might be said to make men vulnerable, and the power to give birth makes womb envy at least as logical. In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless - and logic has nothing to do with it.What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?The answer is clear - menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event:Men would brag about how long and how much.Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood, with religious ritual and stag parties.Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp out monthly discomforts.Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock Shields - "For Those Light Bachelor Days," and Robert "Baretta" Blake Maxi-Pads.) Military men, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof that only men could serve in the Army ("you have to give blood to take blood"), occupy political office ("can women be aggressive without that steadfast cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priest and ministers ("how could a woman give her blood for our sins?") or rabbis ("without the monthly loss of impurities, women remain unclean"). Male radicals, left-wing politicians, mystics, however, would insist that women are equal, just different, and that any woman could enter their ranks if she were willing to self-inflict a major wound every month ("you MUST give blood for the revolution"), recognize the preeminence of menstrual issues, or subordinate her selfness to all men in their Cycle of Enlightenment. Street guys would brag ("I'm a three pad man") or answer praise from a buddy ("Man, you lookin' good!") by giving fives and saying, "Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!" TV shows would treat the subject at length. ("Happy Days": Richie and Potsie try to convince Fonzie that he is still "The Fonz," though he has missed two periods in a row.) So would newspapers. (SHARK SCARE THREATENS MENSTRUATING MEN. JUDGE CITES MONTHLY STRESS IN PARDONING RAPIST.) And movies. (Newman and Redford in "Blood Brothers"!)Men would convince women that intercourse was more pleasurable at "that time of the month." Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself - though probably only because they needed a good menstruating man. Of course, male intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical arguments. How could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense of time, space, mathematics, or measurement, for instance, without that in-built gift for measuring the cycles of the moon and planets - and thus for measuring anything at all? In the rarefied fields of philosophy and religion, could women compensate for missing the rhythm of the universe? Or for their lack of symbolic death-and-resurrection every month? Liberal males in every field would try to be kind: the fact that "these people" have no gift for measuring life or connecting to the universe, the liberals would explain, should be punishment enough.And how would women be trained to react? One can imagine traditional women agreeing to all arguments with a staunch and smiling masochism. ("The ERA would force housewives to wound themselves every month": Phyllis Schlafly. "Your husband's blood is as sacred as that of Jesus - and so sexy, too!": Marabel Morgan.) Reformers and Queen Bees would try to imitate men, and pretend to have a monthly cycle. All feminists would explain endlessly that men, too, needed to be liberated from the false idea of Martian aggressiveness, just as women needed to escape the bonds of menses envy. Radical feminist would add that the oppression of the nonmenstrual was the pattern for all other oppressions ("Vampires were our first freedom fighters!") Cultural feminists would develop a bloodless imagery in art and literature. Socialist feminists would insist that only under capitalism would men be able to monopolize menstrual blood . . . . In fact, if men could menstruate, the power justifications could probably go on forever.If we let them.
This article originally appeared in the October 1978 issue of Ms. magazine and was included in one of Steinem's many books: Gloria Steinem, Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions.
[NY - NAL, 1986 (updated second edition by Owlet Books).]
-- Gloria Steinem
A white minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into thinking that a white skin makes people superior - even though the only thing it really does is make the more subject to ultraviolet rays and to wrinkles. Male human beings have built whole cultures around the idea that penis envy is "natural" to women - though having such an unprotected organ might be said to make men vulnerable, and the power to give birth makes womb envy at least as logical. In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless - and logic has nothing to do with it.What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?The answer is clear - menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event:Men would brag about how long and how much.Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood, with religious ritual and stag parties.Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp out monthly discomforts.Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock Shields - "For Those Light Bachelor Days," and Robert "Baretta" Blake Maxi-Pads.) Military men, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof that only men could serve in the Army ("you have to give blood to take blood"), occupy political office ("can women be aggressive without that steadfast cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priest and ministers ("how could a woman give her blood for our sins?") or rabbis ("without the monthly loss of impurities, women remain unclean"). Male radicals, left-wing politicians, mystics, however, would insist that women are equal, just different, and that any woman could enter their ranks if she were willing to self-inflict a major wound every month ("you MUST give blood for the revolution"), recognize the preeminence of menstrual issues, or subordinate her selfness to all men in their Cycle of Enlightenment. Street guys would brag ("I'm a three pad man") or answer praise from a buddy ("Man, you lookin' good!") by giving fives and saying, "Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!" TV shows would treat the subject at length. ("Happy Days": Richie and Potsie try to convince Fonzie that he is still "The Fonz," though he has missed two periods in a row.) So would newspapers. (SHARK SCARE THREATENS MENSTRUATING MEN. JUDGE CITES MONTHLY STRESS IN PARDONING RAPIST.) And movies. (Newman and Redford in "Blood Brothers"!)Men would convince women that intercourse was more pleasurable at "that time of the month." Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself - though probably only because they needed a good menstruating man. Of course, male intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical arguments. How could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense of time, space, mathematics, or measurement, for instance, without that in-built gift for measuring the cycles of the moon and planets - and thus for measuring anything at all? In the rarefied fields of philosophy and religion, could women compensate for missing the rhythm of the universe? Or for their lack of symbolic death-and-resurrection every month? Liberal males in every field would try to be kind: the fact that "these people" have no gift for measuring life or connecting to the universe, the liberals would explain, should be punishment enough.And how would women be trained to react? One can imagine traditional women agreeing to all arguments with a staunch and smiling masochism. ("The ERA would force housewives to wound themselves every month": Phyllis Schlafly. "Your husband's blood is as sacred as that of Jesus - and so sexy, too!": Marabel Morgan.) Reformers and Queen Bees would try to imitate men, and pretend to have a monthly cycle. All feminists would explain endlessly that men, too, needed to be liberated from the false idea of Martian aggressiveness, just as women needed to escape the bonds of menses envy. Radical feminist would add that the oppression of the nonmenstrual was the pattern for all other oppressions ("Vampires were our first freedom fighters!") Cultural feminists would develop a bloodless imagery in art and literature. Socialist feminists would insist that only under capitalism would men be able to monopolize menstrual blood . . . . In fact, if men could menstruate, the power justifications could probably go on forever.If we let them.
This article originally appeared in the October 1978 issue of Ms. magazine and was included in one of Steinem's many books: Gloria Steinem, Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions.
[NY - NAL, 1986 (updated second edition by Owlet Books).]
Saturday, November 25, 2006
THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT/INDIA
in short* :
The Domestic Violence Act introduces into the existing law the following concepts:
· The civil wrong of domestic violence;
· The right to protection against domestic violence by obtaining protection orders, residence orders and monetary relief orders.
· The right to be informed of the accessibility of such orders and the services of accredited service providers; and
· The right to reside in shared household.
The Bill defines domestic violence "as any act, omission or conduct which is of such nature as to harm or has the potential of harming or injuring the health, safety or well being of a women. Such violence could be physical, sexual, verbal, mental or economic."
It protects a person against violence in a domestic relationship i.e. a relationship either by marriage or birth or consanguinity or custom or cohabitation.
A person aggrieved can obtain the following orders:
· Protection order
· Residence order
· Monetary relief order
· Temporary child custody order
She can approach the Court by filling a petition listing out the details of her case and asking for the orders that would protect her from violence. She can obtain an order even in a pending suit or criminal case such as divorce case or a criminal case of cruelty. The person aggrieved can insist that a court while granting bail to the respondent impose conditions, which would protect her from violence. If for any reason she is unable to move the Court, a petition may be brought by a person authorized by her or an NGO or a protection officer.
The Court can grant immediate relief and confirm it after hearing both parties
A protection order prohibits the respondent from:
· Committing acts of domestic violence.
· Helping someone else commit such acts.
· Entering the office or house of the person aggrieved.
· Communicating with the person aggrieved.
· Selling of property or emptying bank lockers and accounts.
· Causing violence to people assisting the person aggrieved.
By a Residence order, the Court may pass orders in relation to the "shared household" such as:
· Helping the person aggrieved to remain in the house.
· Preventing her from being removed from the house.
· Prohibiting the respondent from entering the house.
· Restraining the respondent from selling or giving the house away.
· Restraining the respondent from giving up his right or claim in house.
· Directing the respondent from finding an alternative house for the person aggrieved.
A Monetary Relief order entitles the person aggrieved to meet the expenses incurred by her in meeting her needs and the needs of her children, if any including money to meet:
· Loss of earnings.
· Medical expenses.
· Maintenance, including for the children, if any.
· Loss on account of damage or removal of property.
· Compensation for the domestic violence inflicted upon her.
An order is valid for two years and may be renewed thereafter. Breach of an order is a cognizable and non-bailable offence punishable with imprisonment upto three years or fine, which may extend to Rs. 20,000 or both.
Such offence may be tried by the Court which had passed the orders whose breach is alleged.
The bill contemplates two institutions
The Protection Officers and Accredited Service Providers .The former shall be in charge of coordinating the responses of the police and various registered service providers such as shelters, hospitals, counselling centres, rehabilitation centres and legal aid offices. The State shall frame rules for the accreditation of these service providers.
The person aggrieved can file a petition where either she or the respondent resides or where she suffered the domestic violence.
The Bill provides for mandatory counselling of the respondent and even joint counselling with the person aggrieved if she is agreeable.
*editing credits to a friend who does not have a blog and thus cannot be linked:P but if said friend is reading this and wishes to be acknowledged by name, please contact me and I shall do it :)
in short* :
The Domestic Violence Act introduces into the existing law the following concepts:
· The civil wrong of domestic violence;
· The right to protection against domestic violence by obtaining protection orders, residence orders and monetary relief orders.
· The right to be informed of the accessibility of such orders and the services of accredited service providers; and
· The right to reside in shared household.
The Bill defines domestic violence "as any act, omission or conduct which is of such nature as to harm or has the potential of harming or injuring the health, safety or well being of a women. Such violence could be physical, sexual, verbal, mental or economic."
It protects a person against violence in a domestic relationship i.e. a relationship either by marriage or birth or consanguinity or custom or cohabitation.
A person aggrieved can obtain the following orders:
· Protection order
· Residence order
· Monetary relief order
· Temporary child custody order
She can approach the Court by filling a petition listing out the details of her case and asking for the orders that would protect her from violence. She can obtain an order even in a pending suit or criminal case such as divorce case or a criminal case of cruelty. The person aggrieved can insist that a court while granting bail to the respondent impose conditions, which would protect her from violence. If for any reason she is unable to move the Court, a petition may be brought by a person authorized by her or an NGO or a protection officer.
The Court can grant immediate relief and confirm it after hearing both parties
A protection order prohibits the respondent from:
· Committing acts of domestic violence.
· Helping someone else commit such acts.
· Entering the office or house of the person aggrieved.
· Communicating with the person aggrieved.
· Selling of property or emptying bank lockers and accounts.
· Causing violence to people assisting the person aggrieved.
By a Residence order, the Court may pass orders in relation to the "shared household" such as:
· Helping the person aggrieved to remain in the house.
· Preventing her from being removed from the house.
· Prohibiting the respondent from entering the house.
· Restraining the respondent from selling or giving the house away.
· Restraining the respondent from giving up his right or claim in house.
· Directing the respondent from finding an alternative house for the person aggrieved.
A Monetary Relief order entitles the person aggrieved to meet the expenses incurred by her in meeting her needs and the needs of her children, if any including money to meet:
· Loss of earnings.
· Medical expenses.
· Maintenance, including for the children, if any.
· Loss on account of damage or removal of property.
· Compensation for the domestic violence inflicted upon her.
An order is valid for two years and may be renewed thereafter. Breach of an order is a cognizable and non-bailable offence punishable with imprisonment upto three years or fine, which may extend to Rs. 20,000 or both.
Such offence may be tried by the Court which had passed the orders whose breach is alleged.
The bill contemplates two institutions
The Protection Officers and Accredited Service Providers .The former shall be in charge of coordinating the responses of the police and various registered service providers such as shelters, hospitals, counselling centres, rehabilitation centres and legal aid offices. The State shall frame rules for the accreditation of these service providers.
The person aggrieved can file a petition where either she or the respondent resides or where she suffered the domestic violence.
The Bill provides for mandatory counselling of the respondent and even joint counselling with the person aggrieved if she is agreeable.
*editing credits to a friend who does not have a blog and thus cannot be linked:P but if said friend is reading this and wishes to be acknowledged by name, please contact me and I shall do it :)
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
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