hair

In winter, you can’t tell a cancer patient from someone who does not have cancer. Especially if you live in a metropolitan city where monkey caps are equal to fashion statements. Every single year. Year after year.

Also, if you are a man on chemotherapy, in all likelihood, it is going to be impossible to tell you apart from a bald man who is not on chemotherapy. Regardless of the season.  

But maybe not regardless of your religion. Maybe then you have the same experience as women.

Because it isn’t the same for women.

Or is it? 

What if you are a woman who covers her hair because of religious reasons? If you lost your hair, would you still cover your head? Then would you be covering your hair or the fact that you don’t have any?

modern interiors

In the very first house that I lived in, the mosquito nets matched the colours of the bathroom tiles.

This was done on purpose.

how to survive an art gallery if you want to drink the free wine

"Use the word juxtapose. For example if you are looking at a painting of a horse say - I love how the colours of the horse are juxtaposed against the background of the field. Or if you are looking at modern art, just say - I love how the hues of this painting are juxtaposed against each other on the canvass."
-- Abir

love, brains & magic

"You are really stupid when you are in early love. Your IQ drops by several levels."

- My Green Tea Friend

remission

What happens on the day when you finish all your prescribed cycles of chemotherapy and you are still alive?

Does it mean you have been cured?

I wish it was that simple.

Sometimes, cancers return. 

How do you know if the chemotherapy has worked?

It has worked if you are cancer free for x number of years.

X = number of years as declared by your doctor. This number seems to vary with cancer type as far as I can tell.

So we've been told 5 years from today.

In popular cancer language, this waiting game is called - "Remission".

Sounds like a video game, right?

****

And so while you are wondering about that, let me leave you with an incredibly courageous and wonderfully well compiled set of gifs on what a typical chemotherapy day looks like.

Go on, paste this link into your browser's address bar. No pain. No gain. http://thoughtcatalog.com/michelle-lamont/2013/05/super-fun-gif-guide-to-surviving-a-day-of-chemotherapy/

the monk who had cancer

Last week at the chemotherapy day care centre, there was a monk who had come in for treatment.

You can retreat from this material world, you can give up breathing its toxins.

You can live a stress free lifestyle, you can meditate.

You can pray.

But still.

Cancer.

Makes you realise the true extent of the random nature of this universe. Makes you realise that even if you control your mind, even if you control your emotions, there is very little else that you can control.
 
And sometimes, a life of prayer can control nothing at all. 
 

space craft

Between the dialysis and the chemotherapy is a surreal space where I work hard, plan ahead, think positive and pretend to control the future.