diwali thoughts

If you're a devout Hindu, and someone mistakes you for a Muslim, you'd be offended.

If you're a devout Muslim and someone mistakes you for a Christian, you'd be offended.

If you're a devout Christian and someone mistakes you for a Hindu, you'd be offended.

But that's not the point. The point is that when a religious festival is around the corner, you make it a point to wish people around you. "Happy Diwali," I am told. I usually just say "Thank you."

I don't know what else to say, without offending the person who has just wished me. After all, it was just a simple good wish.

But I'm atheist.

And it HURTS MY SENTIMENTS to be mistaken for religious.

lose yourself

"I write. I write that I am writing. Mentally I see myself writing that I am writing and I can also see myself seeing that I am writing. I remember writing and also seeing myself writing. And I see myself remembering that I see myself writing and I remember seeing myself remebering that I was writing and I write seeing myself write that I remeber having seen myself write that I saw myself writing that I was writing and that I was writing that I was writing that I was wrirting. I can also imagine myself writing that I had already written that I would imagine myself writing that I had written that I was imagining myself writing that I see myself writing that I am writing."

Salvador Elizondo / The Graphographer

who i am

44 years old. Male. Married. Two kids. That's me.

So now I've broken my silence.
Now you know a little more about who I am.

my grandmother

she died on this date 4 years ago.

we had a pooja today.

i think about her everyday. there have been times when i've had violent spells of missing her. there are all the things she made for me when she was alive which i refuse to throw away. and also this curious habit i developed of refusing to kill mosquitoes and flies. i seemed to have developed it after she died. i understand that she needed to leave.

and then this prayer meeting. we've had one every year on this date to honour her memory. the first year, i was petrified of attending it. i was scared of re-living the memories it may bring back. i was scared of watching everyone cry.

it's rather curious how expressions of bereavement subside over time. this year i felt it was my duty to be there. it wasn't about memories or intense emotions or anything else. made me think a lot. it's more of a ritual now. dry duty. or a blunt pattern. if i was dead, i'd rather my friends/family perform a remebrence service whenever they really, really missed me in the vacuum that death creates. for the feeling of me, not for the sake of keeping a date.

go read

this

who's who

Not all women are feminists.

And not all feminists are women.

women and children

No, really. What IS up with that phrase?
What is the difference between the two?
Are women as vulnerable as children?
Is that it?
Really?
Why?

...and why not "men and children"?

does that make you uncomfortable?
does it sound wrong?
how does it make you feel?